Team USA Will Lose the 4 Nations Tourney

Yup, suck it up America. I’m sorry to say, but I think you’re going to be looking up at the 3 other teams from the basement of this exhibition pond hockey game all-star promotion tournament. For sure there’s loads of skill on this team: there’s high-end offensive talent and bundles of goal scoring touch. You could say that there’s even (a bit) of sandpaper on the US squad (but unfortunately every Tkachuk brother gets cancelled out by a Hughes brother).

But the team’s biggest issue? That lies with the captaincy.

Let’s go to the tape shall we?
Captain A: 3x Cup Champ (2x Conn Smythe)
Captain B: 2x Cup Champ (1x Conn Smythe)
Captain C: 1x Cup Champ
Captain D: Made it to the 2nd round of the playoffs once (put up 2 assists in 5GP)

You tell me, who would you want leading your squad?

I’ll tell you who you DON’T want…..

And that Dear Reader is why Team USA is destined to finish 4th. The leadership vacuum for the ol’ Red White and Blue squad is vast. How many times will Charlie McAvoy and Matthew Tkachuk look at each other and roll their eyes while Austin Matthews is talking. (that is if someone can keep Tkachuk and McAvoy from trying to slice each other’s Achilles all tourney) Will Matthews spend more time talking to his teammates or to Bieber?

Sweden rolls out Victor Hedman: a mountain of a man with a bit of a nasty edge to his game when he wants to play that way. Hedman has piled up over 750PIMs in his 16 year career. Yes, Team Sweden will have to overcome Mika Zibanajed, but someone’s got to be on the aux cord in the for the Swedes, so you might as well make it a true DJ who moonlights as a NY Ranger.

Finland has Aleksander Barkov: Recently named Finland’s Athlete of the Year and fresh off a Stanley Cup Championship. Barkov is nearly a point per game average in his NHL career while somehow being considered both under-rated and one of the game’s elite 2-way centers at the same time? Think of a knock-off Patrice Bergeron with a different accent and not as much intestinal fortitude.

Canada has Sid The Kid: C’mon. All Sidney Crosby does is win. 2x Hart Trophy, 2x Conn Smythe, 2x Art Ross, 2x Rocket Richard, Gold Medal at Worlds, 2x Olympic Gold Medal to go along with his Cups. The NHL superstar with the mentality of a bottom 6 forward scrapping for minutes. Sid the Kid oozes leadership, grit and skill. The biggest knock on Crosby at this point in his career is that he’s too loyal to PGH and won’t leave to go chase another Cup.

Team USA rolls out Auston Matthews: Bitch please. Yes, he can fill the net. Yes, he’s got a lethal shot and great offensive touch. Winner of a number of INDIVIDUAL awards. Can you find me some film of him digging for the puck on the boards/in the corners? Logging some PK minutes? Rubbing someone out and playing with some jam?

Winning anything but a first round matchup???

I mean…. seriously? THIS guy?

Here he is vs. noted pugilist (checks notes) Steven Stamkos

Now I’m not saying that you have to fight your way to a win, but if you’re going to get upset every time someone lays a check on you then you should stick up for yourself instead of looking for a teammate to answer the bell for you. I guess on the plus side, he keeps Ryan Reaves cashing NHL checks?

When the rosters were originally announced, I thought the goalies for Team USA provided an edge, but on the most recent podcast, Ked and I did a deeper dive into the netminders for this tourney, and I’m not so sure that’s the case anymore. Sweden has a sneaky elite group of goalies set up for this tournament.

But back to the matter at hand: Over on Team Canada (who has to be the favorite, right?), Connor McDavid himself said it was a no-brainer for Crosby to be the Captain. When asked about the torch being passed and maybe it was time for him to take the lead for the Canadian team, McJesus was very clear on the subject: “It should be Sid for sure, that’s not even a question.” How do you think that same convo went around Team USA? Probably much like it did in Toronto when they pushed John Tavares out and anointed Matthews the 26th captain in the Maples Leafs history. Much like I said on the podcast at the time, the Leafs have come along way (down) from Wendel Clark to Matthews.

“Just take the fucking picture” John Tavares (probably)

On the US roster there’s a number of guys with more leadership experience and more success at the NHL level. Oh, I’m sorry: more TEAM success vs. INDIVIDUAL success. Look if you’re looking for someone to put up the most points, maybe Matthews is your guy. If you’re looking for someone to lead this group? I’d go with Brady Tkachuk, Dylan Larkin, Jack Eichel, Kyle Connor or even Brock Nelson. Hell, based on the way JT Miller’s been playing since getting to NY put the C on him. The reason the Leafs never do anything in the postseason is the same reason Team USA is going to get waxed with this guy at the helm.

You can say I’m a Bruins homer and that’s why I don’t want Matthews as the face of this team. That may be valid, but show me the lies that I wrote above? Both things can be true at the same time. I may hate Matthews being a B’s fan, but you have to admit he’s a certified squid.

We broke down the rosters in more detail on this week’s podcast along with the other top stories from the NHL and beyond. Check it out, and as they say: like and subscribe.

In terms of the 4 Nations, it’s better than nothing as long as the players don’t treat it as an all star game. I’d be much more invested if this was a true best on best tourney. You can’t call it that without Russia, Germany and Czechia (to name a few countries) not in this tournament.

I’ll wait and spend my time and energy on the Olympic Games coming up in Italy when the games will truly feature the best hockey players in the world. Ciao!

You can read more about Brownie in his bio down below or follow him on:
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Author: Brownie

A legacy that was born on the frozen rivers in Northern Saskatchewan then forged on the ponds of New England. Always living by the credo handed down by generations of beer-league beauties that came before him. Skate Hard - Quick Changes - Win the Parking Lot.

2 thoughts

  1. USA should be the 11th province of Canada which I think would be brilliant and parts of the US can be a 4th territory. My call is for the blue US states to be part of the 10 provinces and the red states to be a 4th territory. I think it’s a good idea.

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