The Olympic hockey tournament so far for team USA has been going as planned so far. 3 pretty dominant wins against teams that frankly the Americans should beat by 3+ goals every time. One storyline in the background of team USA’s quest for gold though is the Hughes brothers, with brothers Jack and Quinn suiting up in the red white and blue together for the first time in the Olympics (Luke will be there next time, I’d bet 50 units on it). And through that America, and the world, are getting to know this hockey super-fam.
What a lot of people are realizing is that Jack is a pretty funny, typical athlete hot shot who’s been known for showing his personality (see below examples).
Meanwhile his superstar (and arguably best of the 3 Hughes brothers) Quinn, seems to be a little less outgoing. A little less consistently happy. Looking like even if the US upsets Canada for gold, his facial expression would just be this.
The Morning Skate sat down with Quinn earlier today and walked him through some of these “seeing ghosts” moments to see what may have been going through his head so the NBC sports audience stops worrying about him so much.
TMS: You seemed a little out of it on the bench during yesterday’s game against Denmark. What happened there?
Quinn: Yeah, I totally get how people would be concerned about that clip. Honestly last week when I went to my local Planet Fitness when I walked in the front desk girl I’ve had a crush on since I joined two weeks ago told me “have a good workout”, and I told her “you too”. It’s been running through my mind ever since. I honestly haven’t even slept since then, I’ve just been housing Italian Espressos ever since we landed hoping it gets me through the gold medal game against Canada once we beat all of these minor league countries.
TMS: Totally understand Quinn, we’ve all been there. I do that at my gym every week. But this seems to be a longer term issue. Here’s a clip of you recently with the Wild, was this a similar situation?
Quinn: No, that actually was totally different. There I vividly remember that game was the day my parents told me that my first ever pet, a goldfish named Oliver didn’t actually grow up and swim to the ocean using our neighborhood creek and that they actually forgot to feed him when I was staying at a friends house for a night so he died. I still haven’t spoken to them since.
TMS: That must have been tough Quinn. Losing a pet is worse than losing a human at times. But really, this has been going on for a long fucking time. Like here’s you on the Canucks early in your career doing the same shit. Are you OK man?
Quinn: So those clips are actually just me thinking of every wrong thing I’ve ever done and every mistake I’ve ever made and every mistake I’m ever going to make and how Josie McBride told me in 5th grade she couldn’t date me anymore because my brother Jack was better at hockey than me. It is my pre-shift ritual to get me in the right mindset to be the grim reaper on the blue line for the opposing team. Then once I finish my shift, my mind goes right back to Planet Fitness last week.
After this interview all of the lights in the room went out and the Halo 3 theme song began to play. The TMS team left immediately to leave Mr. Hughes to his endeavors. We will have no further comment at this time.
*This article is a work of satire and parody. It is not a real interview and is intended for entertainment purposes only.
The Morning Skate 