During my daily life I encounter stupidity everywhere. Pedestrians riding bikes in the middle of the road as if sidewalks don’t exist, or gym bros making their Mustang somehow take up 3 parking spaces in the morning. Just a couple weeks ago the dumpster behind my house caught fire because some idiot threw a lit cigarette into a container full of paper and cardboard, which to their surprise are very easy to catch on fire. But these are examples of tolerable stupidity.
Connor McDavid had 153 points last season (for any non-hockey folk that is indeed a lot), good for 25 more than any other player in the league. The last time someone scored as many points in a season as he did this year Google didn’t exist and people were super hype about the new music streaming service: Napster. To vote him as being the FIFTH best player in hockey this season, and in the process preventing him from being only the 3rd unanimous Hart Trophy winner in NHL history, is a level of stupidity that should be acknowledged and ridiculed.
To do that, let’s take a look at this short list of things that are slightly less dumb than what that NHL writer did last night.
- Put food wrapped in aluminum foil into the microwave. Hand up, I have done this a long time ago and will never be doing it again. It was cool to see lightning form inside my microwave at the time, however not as cool as being able to cook food and live.
- Generating a net worth of over $100 million at age 23 via a massive NBA contract and multiple massive endorsement deals, then deciding to wave a gun on your Instagram live as if you’re about to say “I’m Ja Morant, and you’re watching Disney Channel!”. TWICE. In a two month span.
- Getting into a street fight with a man much larger than you, who is also a UFC fighter with 22 wins including one against Connor McGregor. See below.
4. Trying to take a submarine that you know has egregious mechanical flaws 12,000 feet deep into the ocean. Hopefully no one ever tries this, because that would most certainly end in tragedy. One that hopefully the internet wouldn’t aggressively mock on every social platform known to man as it was happening, because that would just be distasteful.
Any one of these actions is a feat of stupidity that takes effort, creativity, and an undeniable determination to out stupid the rest of society. But whichever NHL writer decided that Connor McDavid is the 5th best hockey player on the planet woke up yesterday and decided to inspire all of us.
I personally think whoever did it should be held accountable and have to watch 24 hours straight of McDavid highlights or give up their award-voting privileges permanently, or at the very least reveal their identity so they can properly be ridiculed for their egregious act. But as we know the NHL isn’t exactly very keen on accountability. See here.
The Morning Skate 