As a Blues fan, I love to see the Blackhawks fail. These last 6-7 years since we stomped on their throats in the 2017 playoffs have been glorious:
-Blues Stanley Cups 1, Blackhawks 0
-Blues are 15-8 against Chicago in that time frame
-Blues have 0 sexual assault scandals, the Blackhawks 3
However it seems that after being consistent losers and gaining the reputation as the Epstein Island of the NHL, the Blackhawks are starting to get on the right track. New rumors are stating that the reason Corey Perry was “taking time away from the team” and eventually kicked off today was because he may have one-timed Connor Bedard’s mother.
After years of scandals coming out about their video coach essentially raping players during their Stanley Cup runs, they finally are maturing and having a sex scandal that is consensual.
Now I get it, you may see this as a negative for the organization. But much like Blackhawks want to see year over year improvement from their 18 year old superstar you also want to see your organization improve year over year, and this is the first step. At this rate the Blackhawks might go all of 2024 without one sex scandal (maybe just some light money laundering to save up for Bedard’s contract), and if they can do that who says they can’t win 25 regular season games?
The Blackhawks “rebuild” has been nothing but ugly these last six years, but the ALLEGED rumors coming out this week about Perry’s potential five minute major he committed with Bedsy’s mom shows that they’re starting to return to glory. Now I know what you’re thinking, how on earth could a player having coitus with his teammate’s mom be a positive thing for the Blackhawks? Well to jog your memory the last time the Blackhawks had a sex scandal about something consensual, it was rumored that ole Patty Sharp had tagged the wife of teammate Duncan Keith way back in 2015. And what happened that year?
Inappropriate, but consensual sexual activities between a player and his teammate’s family = championship parades in Chicago. Bedard’s mom may have gotten the worm, but the Hawks will get the Cup now.
Now you may say that these reports have a 0% chance of being true, but before you do that I ask you to comb through the NHL history books and find one time that a highly respected veteran got kicked off a team in his first year right after the team’s mom’s trip. My guess is the answer is ZERO. The Blackhawks wouldn’t remove him from the team “temporarily” then just decide to terminate his one year contract if he simply had too many bevies at the mom’s trip happy hour, or if he was late to practice.
What does this mean for Connor Bedard though? Well my biggest fear is about to be realized. He already had expectations that Elon’s rockets couldn’t reach, but if these rumors turn out to be true there’s almost no level of a career he will have where people won’t bring up the fateful romantic night his mother may have spent with his mentor Corey Perry. He’s going to have to score 1,000 goals, win 5 cups, and the Olympics 3 times (holding out hope we get to see a Bedard+McDavid line for Canada one day) for people to even consider forgetting this accomplishment by the Blackhawks.
So look out world, the Blackhawks are slowly but surely coming back, one slightly less worse sex scandal at a time.
The Morning Skate 