After getting blown out for the third straight game, I tweeted my feelings about the Carolina Hurricanes wasting everyone’s time every time they make it to the Conference Finals.
Naturally, since I opened my big stupid mouth prematurely, the Canes decided to win game 4 and end the 0-15 slide they had been on in the ECF since 2009, in the process making me never want to speak again, or at least until the fat lady sings. I’ve never been one to shit talk until everything is said and done because I hate eating my words more than anything.
I really didn’t think I would end up looking too stupid though. Sure, Florida didn’t look as tight in game 4, but no team is perfect in today’s NHL. The Panthers lost two games to my Rangers in the conference finals last year and it turns out the Rangers actually fucking stink. Florida is the East’s most consistent team.
That might not be true though, because losing 16 of 17 Conference Final games is perhaps one of the most consistent runs the league has ever seen, rivaled only by the Leafs blowing every game 7 ever, and the Sabres never making the playoffs ever again.
Ultimately the Canes fell to the Cats in 5 in what was an emphatically boring series, leaving me actually wanting a rematch between Edmonton and Florida despite my love for the level of parity the NHL provides. The Carolina Hurricanes are just not fun to watch at all if you aren’t a fan of the team. You could argue 3 out of 4 teams in the final four fit the bill of a boring team, but Carolina has reached 2020 Islanders levels of making me want to claw my eyes out.
It truly is remarkable how bad they are in the Conference Finals. People talked about how unlikely it is to lose as many game sevens in a row as the Leafs now have, but it has to be less likely to lose 15 Conference Final games in a row. I mean how do you not even win one in 15 tries by accident?
In their defense, they did play some incredible teams since 2009, starting with the 2009 Penguins. Once they traded Ryan Whitney for Chris Kunitz and unlocked their final form, they were destined to go back to the final and finish the job. The 2019 Bruins went 7 games with the Blues and produced my favorite Cup Final I have ever watched. Matthew Tkachuk single handedly crushed their dreams time and time again in 2023, and the Panthers just did it again on the back of three blowout wins to take the stranglehold in the series.
The Canes never have the star power those teams do. They’re coached well and their system gets them far, but shot volume is not going to win them a Stanley Cup. Turns out it can hardly win you a game in the Conference Finals. I hate the Canes and even I love some of their players, like Seth Jarvis, Jaccob Slavin, and Logan Stankoven. I’d love to poach any of those guys and see them be New York Rangers.
It’s something about the guys that are supposed to be the stars that I just don’t buy. Sebastian Aho looked way better in games 4 and 5, but he was hardly a factor in the first 3 games, when Logan Stankoven was really the only one scoring goals. Andrei Svechnikov couldn’t break through in an effective way against Florida’s anaconda vise. These are extremely talented players, world class even, but they’ve never impressed me when the Canes have needed them most.
The only thing more certain than the Canes losing in the ECF, is the Canes losing to the Rangers in the conference semis. When the Rangers decide to be good enough to make the playoffs, that is. Hopefully they’ll give me some reasons to make more Canes hit pieces this year, but even if the Rangers don’t, somebody will, because the Carolina Hurricanes are too good to change, not good enough to win, and just perfect to be everyone’s favorite meme in the East.
The Morning Skate 