“Sweat by Seguin” The Perfect Gift

With the holidays right around the corner, people everywhere are vying for the perfect gift for their loved one. Well, glad you stumbled upon this article because we have that perfect gift for you. It’s “Sweat by Seguin.”

Are you tired of your loved one or that special someone telling you, “I wish you could be more like Dallas Stars center Tyler Seguin!” Worry no more my sweet child! “Sweat by Seguin” is literally his sweat. In a bottle! You can stink just like the ESPN The Body poster child with merely a few squirts.

We have manufactured each bottle by forcing Seguin to workout and watch high stress flicks throughout the offseason while he recovers from his post season surgery. It’s a win win! Not only will Seguin be back on the ice sooner than you can say, “Wait they really put his sweat in a cologne bottle?”, you will benefit from all of his hard work! Literally no one is losing here folks!

With “Sweat by Seguin” we can absolutely guarantee your confidence will improve by 91 percent. If you order today we will even throw in the Tyler Seguin balance board for a small fee of $129 ! Since you’ll be having to fight the opposite sex off no matter who you are, Seguin’s special balance board will make sure you are always upright and on your little piggies that go to the market.

Don’t let this opportunity to be like one of the top centers in the NHL slip away! Quantities are limited as we didn’t want to physically drain Seguin completely dry. Make this holiday season the best one yet for your favorite hockey fan and obtain the glisten from your favorite Star.

(Side effects include full sleeves of tattoos. Abs not included.)

I hate that I have to say this but, the picture is real. It is for a cologne. The “Sweat by Seguin” brand is not. Yet.

Author: Fink

Stood in an elevator with Jere Lehtinen once. Full-time freelancer in all things media. Beer League Black Ace and big-time locker room glue guy.

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