Don’t Cry Because it’s Over Blues Fans, Smile Because It happened: an Ode to Our Sweet Russian Prince

Unless you are living under a rock or just discovered what hockey is, you are well aware that yesterday the Blues sent one of (if not the) cornerstone of the franchise for the last decade in Vladimir Tarasenko up to New York in exchange for some draft picks and a familiar face in Sammy Blais. A move that we all knew was coming, but still felt shocking once you watched it actually happen.

If you are here to read a hit-piece saying fuck you to Vladi for wanting a trade or good riddance that he is gone, politely leave this page and go back to reading your typical hockey content that is written by people who breathe strictly through their mouths. This is going to be a metaphorical sucking off of one of the best Blues to ever do it, and just a good dude who worked his tail off for a city that is top 10 in murder rate every year.

I still remember when we drafted Vladi my dad got all pumped up because we got some stud from Russia nicknamed “Tank” (apparently Vladi doesn’t like this name because it alludes to war in Russia since they have 17 going on over there at all times so we’ll stop using it). Fast forward a couple of years later and on his NHL debut he proceeded to do this:

And then over the years he continued to give us memories like this goal, against ironically the Rangers

And many many more, but if you want more highlights just go on Youtube you lazy muppet. It’s stat time. Just how good was Vladi during his tenure in STL? (before we forced him to go to our preferred doctors for his shoulder and fucked his career up)

In terms of all time rankings for the Blues Big Daddy Vladi is 5th in goals, 7th in assists, and 5th all time for points. Considering our franchise has had guys like Brett Hull, Bernie Federko, and more come through our doors you don’t get top ten in those rankings by accident. Over the years I would always hear bullshit on how he “disappeared” in the playoffs and I will have none of that shit. Not on this website. The Blues had a streak where they went to the playoffs 25 straight seasons. A streak that Vladi was not a part of and yet, he is 2nd in franchise history for playoff goals with 41 (some guy named Brett Hull is first). Even during the mid-2010’s where the Blues were a perennial “unreal in the regular season, get pee pee whacked round one of the playoffs” team he would still put up 7-8 goals in just 1-2 playoff series.

Let this one stat put in perspective just how good Tarasenko was during his prime. From the 2014-2015 season to the end of the 2019 Stanley Cup run, only two players in the entire league had more goals than Vladi who had 182 : John Tavares with 186, and this guy at 236:

If you’re on a 3 person list with the guy who’s going to likely break the all time goals record in the NHL in the next couple of years, you’re pretty damn good at what you do. If you want to be a peasant and say he sucks now after he dropped 34 goals and put up a PPG just last season, by all means go for it.

I do think it was probably the right time to go for both parties when we traded Vladi, but the bottom line is times are a changing in St. Louis because we just traded a guy who is likely a top ten player in franchise history. So good bye to our sweet Russian prince and congratulations Ranger fans, you got a good one.

Fuck, maybe we should cry about it.

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