A letter from Tyler Seguin to Patrick Kane

Alright folks, I put on my detective hat and did some digging. What I found might be the straw that breaks the camels back in landing Patrick Kane to the Dallas Stars. It’s a real barn burner of an email. Directly from Tyler Seguin to Patrick Kane reminding Kane of the fun they had while overseason playing side by side for EHC Biel.

Dearest P Kane,

It’s me Seguin. Just wanted to check in on you and see how Chicago was treating you. I know it’s been a tough run lately but things are going great here in Dallas. We are currently sitting at the top of the Central with 70 points. Three ahead of the Jets, who have our old head coach. He was the worst. He never let us play offense and forced us to shift into a defense heavy team. Most of the Dallas fans are really pleased with him no longer in the organization. Enough about him though, Coach Pete is the best. He let’s us go all out on offense and now we have the most goals scored in the Central with 181 as of Tuesday. How sick is that? Dude, remember when we played in Switzerland for EHC Biel? That was so dope. I had 25 goals and 15 assists while you had 20 goals and 13 assists. We had a blast eh? Those swiss making us take part in Schwingen was hilarious. Yo, you know what? How about you come to Dallas! We could be on the same team again just like old times! We could definitely use your depth and we have this guy Denis Gurianov who is fast as lightning but is desperate for a change of scenery. All you need to do is make sure Chicago retains part of your salary thanks to Bettman and the owners making it nearly impossible to do anytning with this ridiculous cap ceiling. You know what? I bet we can add in some picks as well. Yeah, definitely a few draft picks over the next few seasons. Maybe even a propsect? But definitely not Mavrik Bourque, or Logan Stankoven, or Thomas Harley. Those guys aren’t going anywhere. Unless you convince Toews to come with you. JK JK, we know that won’t happen. Man, can you imagine Seguin and Kane on the same team? It would be unreal. You could be a major key in helping us make another Cup run like we did back in the bubble. Just think about it, though. Not to mention we have one of the hottest young goalies in Jake Oettinger. He’s rocking four shutouts with a 2.22 GAA and a .926 SV%. Kid is a stud! Anyway, I think you’d be a great fit here in Dallas. I know all the good restaurants. Like, the best dude. Hit me up and let me know when you want to head down here!

So you see? That seems like Seguin is laying it on pretty thick with that one. I for one think Kane to the Stars could work wonders. Kane fills a need for scoring depth on the second line and would likely play alongside Mason Marchment and ex-EHC Biel teaammate Tyler Seguin. Pair Kane and Seguin together and that gives a guy like Marchment the possibilty to get more space on the offensive end. Marchment has struggled to put points on the board lately, and adding another weapon like Patrick Kane to his line could tip the scales in Marchment’s favor to get over the hump.

Patrick Kane (left) and Tyler Seguin during their stint as teammates for the Switzerland hockey club EHC Biel during the NHL labor dispute. (Photo courtesy Daniel Seckler/dsphotos.ch)

Okay confession time. This isn’t actually an email from Tyler Seguin to Patrick Kane. You caught me red-handed. What gave it away? The snide comment about that hobbit Bettman? You all saw right through me. It does help the Stars case, if needed, that both Seguin and Kane spent time playing together during the lockout. Kane has been audibly put-off by seeing Vladimir Tarasenko traded to the Rangers meaning he feels like it’s time to be dealt from Chi-town and with recent reports Kane will only waive his no-move clause for a select amount of NHL franchises. Seguin may need to roll out the green carpet to get Kane to make the move, and Jim Nill will have to work his magic to make it work with the cap space (or lack thereof). Wishful thinking from me, I guess.

Author: Fink

Stood in an elevator with Jere Lehtinen once. Full-time freelancer in all things media. Beer League Black Ace and big-time locker room glue guy.

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