Your Boston Bruins hosted the New York National Diving Team at the TD Garden last night. After a night filled with turtles, phantom calls and a lucky bounce for a Prius: the Black and Gold came out on the short end on the score sheet, falling 2-1 in OT. To say that the Rangers embarrassed themselves, the Original Six and hockey fans everywhere is not hyperbole. In fact it’s probably an understatement. HC Peter Laviolette should be suspended by the NHL for the way he’s coaching these diving motherfuckers. What an absolute clown car full of daisies.
Where to start? How about both Alexis Lafrienere and Adam Fox putting a Bruins’ player’s stick to their own faces and drawing penalties??? By the way, this was the best video of Fox’s embellishment Lindholm’s high stick I could find. Clearly James Dolan’s minions have scrubbed this play from the inter-webs. And when Lafrienere threw his head back like your high school prom date? Can’t even find a video to share on that one.
Not enough proof for you? Then how about Ryan Lindgren, a china cup who bleeds internally from sneezing; ramming his forehead into the glass to manufacture a major on an innocent David Pastrnak? I mean he sold it pretty well. Not as good as the wrestlers do when they cut themselves to drive the pay per view numbers, but good enough for the simpletons reffing last night’s game. You can clearly see Lindgren look and see Pastrnak coming and turn his back to Pasta to initiate the contact and then dive headfirst into the glass to cut himself.
No, still not enough proof that these “impartial officials” were calling a bullshit game? Brad Marchand, a beacon of fair play over his entire career, was viciously tripped by Fox in the 3rd (intent to injure should probably have been the call) and then while on the power play was slew-footed tripped RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REF and no call whatsoever! I mean I know Dolan has deep pockets, but I thought NHL referees were above that type of blatant favoritism.
Was it the fact that the Rangers rolled in with their backup in net and word came down from the league offices were to go easy on the Blueshirts? I mean the league’s corporate office is less than 1100 feet from Madison Square Garden. That literally means Bettman could be down the elevator and into Dolan’s office in 7 minutes flat if need be.
How about these refs? Pierre Lambert and Peter MacDougall. Lambert grew up in Quebec in the heydays of the Nordiques. You know he grew up hating the Bruins. And MacDougall? That clown played professionally in Buffalo… which is in NY state: I mean the bias is clear.
So the Bruins beat the best team in the state of NY on Friday night (Shootout W over NYI) then secured a point playing 7 on 5 against the Rags and the Refs without McAvoy, Forbort and Zacha and with Pasta missing the 3rd and overtime. Yeah I’ll take that outcome for a back to back heading into the holidays. And don’t even get me started on what a pansy Trouba is, this is your captain?? Only gets physical when he’s delivering elbows to the blind side or hitting players in the head with a stick??
I mean the way Trouba turtled and hid from Freddie was reminiscent of another play that I seem to remember. It was a couple of years ago, I’m trying to recall… oh yeah, when Fox did the same thing. Monkey see monkey do I guess.
It’s almost as if this team is weak from the top down…
When your leadership group is soft, the whole team ends up being 10-ply
This was written as a 35% satire rate in direct response to my captain and podcast co-host Ked’s insane take on the game that you can read here. And speaking of the podcast, we’re recording tomorrow night so I’m so it’s going to get cantankerous, you can find all episodes here and be sure to subscribe while you’re spinning through our channel.
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