On a recent podcast, (which I’m sure you’ve all listened to by now, and if you haven’t you can find our most recent episode here) we talked about a possible parking lot topic or a good convo-starter for a road trip with your hockey buds. What sweaters would you wear from every NHL team? Now I know that a MTL, TOR or TBL jersey would scald my skin like holy water on a vampire, but I’m willing to play along for the sake of this blog. I mean we are all living in the dog days of summer and we all desperately miss hockey.
Ok, for the ground rules: Two jerseys from each current NHL team (we’ll use ARZ for Utah), one from a currently rostered player and one from the past (you can go as far back as you want). Doesn’t have to be a former All-Star or a Hall of Famer, just a player that you vibe with for whatever reason. No repeats; I mean I’m not going to say Iggy for CGY, PGH, BOS, COL and LAK. And also, no using a current player as a past player when he’s still currently in the league with a different team. We can call that the Ryan McDonagh rule*.
Ok, everyone got it? Good, great, grand. Well then Chumley, let’s dive in.
Anaheim Ducks: Scott Neidermayer and Mason McTavish. Spend some time watching Neidermayer highlights. This guy was like 5’8″ and 165lbs (could have just looked that way next to Pronger to be honest), could skate for days, his handles were filthy and he moved so effortlessly. And McTavish? This kid came out of elementary school with a beard, Bud heavy and a lipper.
Boston Bruins: Patrice Bergeron and Jeremy Swayman – this of course was the hardest decision of the entire blog but when you have the chance to draft St. Patrice you always make that pick. On the current team, I went with Sway since I know Don Sweeney is an avid reader of my blogs and this hopefully provides the impetus for him to get the kid’s deal done already!
Buffalo Sabres: Alexander Mogilny and Tage Thompson – Let me be clear from jump: Mogilny should be in the Hall of Fame and the fact that he’s not is a joke. I could have gone for Pat LaFontaine possibly? Tage Thompson is a beast and is so fun to watch, (and he’s only getting better) so he was a no-brainer for me.
Calgary Flames: Jarome Iginla and Nazem Kadri – I mean if there’s a sweater everyone should have it’s the iconic Calgary Flames kit with a big ol’ number 12 on the back. This video below is simply known as “The Shift”. This exemplifies everything this beauty did game in and game out. As for Kadri, is there a better example of the guy you hate on the other team, but love on yours?
Carolina Hurricanes: Brendan Shanahan* and Jordan Staal
* I know that Shanny never played for CAR but he was a Hartford Whaler for (parts of) 2 seasons so I’m allowing it. And it’s also my blog so kick rocks if you really want to argue this point. Shanahan was the premier power forward of his era and could do it all. As for Staal, Jordan is the only brother that I can stomach. Guy is a monster at the dot and on the back-check.
Chicago Blackhawks: Jonathan Toews and Nick Foligno – the former Blackhawk decision was a tough choice, but I went with Capt Serious. Current Blackhawks? Bedard, maybe Connor Murphy? But I decided on Uncle Nick for the people.
Colorado Avalanche: Joe Sakic and Nathan MacKinnon – could this be the most boring, vanilla duo on the whole list? Probably. Runner ups were Adam Foote and Cale Makar, I flirted with the idea of Ray Bourque, but I couldn’t pull that trigger (Ironically, Bourque’s is the only sweater I own)
Columbus Blue Jackets: Boone Jenner and Zach Werenski – Jenner was one of the guys who always seemed to play well vs. Boston and watching Werenski skate is worth admission.
Dallas Stars: Joe Nieuwendyk and Matt Dumba – old school tough vs. new school tough
Detroit Red Wings: Steve Yzerman and Moritz Seider – Stevie Y was a slam dunk. I got Shanahan covered with CAR, maybe could have chosen McCarty or Federov? With the current Wings the only other player I was considering was Larkin.
Edmonton Oilers: Ken Linseman and Connor McDavid – that’s right, I put the Rat in for EDM. Look, I’m the Bruins guy here at TMS and if you didn’t think that this blog would be littered with former BOS players in other cities then you need to get your head examined. And McJesus was the pick, maybe Hyman? And don’t worry, I have Gretz and Mess covered elsewhere.
Florida Panthers: Scott Mellanby and Matthew Tkachuk – the guy who started the rat tradition, and the guy who is a traditional rat? Could have been Sam Bennett in this slot for current player too. Would love to have either of them on the Bruins.
Los Angeles Kings: Wayne Gretzky and Drew Doughty – Did/Do these 2 players look like they were/are having fun every night? I can still picture Gretzky breaking Howe’s point record and doing the tippy-toe dance on ice. And Doughty is an all-time beauty. I can’t wait to hear the stories out of Doughty’s mouth once he’s retired and is out of give-a-fucks (not that he has a lot in the tank normally).
Minnesota Wild: Wes Walz and Marcus Foligno – Walz was a grinder and went through a lot of off-ice issues that no one should have to deal with and I was always rooting for him. Foligno is a throwback player and the fact that I have his brother on here too, makes it even better.
Montreal Canadiens: Shayne Corson and Josh Anderson – this one was tough. Like, would you rather get tazed or pepper sprayed (This was an actual question that Ked put to myself and Coach Carpenito in a text not too long ago). I can’t stand the team, the city, the environment, the self-importance but I had to pick two: cause them’s the rules.
Nashville Predators: Scotty Harntell and Ryan O’Reilly – I would have loved to put Hartnell on this list as a Flyer, but he ‘aint beating out (spoiler alert) Dave Poulin. I thoroughly enjoy(ed) watching both of these players, although I’m not sold on O’Reilly’s nickname. The Factor? Really?
New Jersey Devils: Bobby Carpenter and Curtis Lazar – remember what I said about former Bruins? So our younger readers may know Carpenter as the dad of Alex Carpenter (who we’d love to have on the podcast sometime if she’s reading), but The Can’t Miss Kid was an NHL superstar on the ice and behind the bench. I was lucky enough to have him on the podcast which you can find right here in case you missed it. And my man Curtis? Absolute beauty. Love watching him on the PK and fore-check. I think Lazar shows his personality in the clip below.
New York Islanders: Mike Bossy and Cal Clutterbuck – What Bossy did in a “short” career just makes it that much more impressive. 10 seasons, 4 Cups, 573-553-1126 in 752GP (nearly 1.5 points per game) with another 160 points in 129 playoff games. And Clutterbuck? Besides rocking one of the most iconic mustaches in the league, I’ll give him the highest compliment possible: Should have been a Bruin.
New York Rangers: Mark Messier and Ryan Lindgren – need I say more? Two stud warriors.
Ottawa Senators: Shawn McEachern and Brady Tkachuk – local kid and son of a local guy. The younger Tkachuk is everything you’d want in a Captain. I hope he one day gets to show what he can do in a playoff run.
Philadelphia Flyers: Dave Poulin and Garnet Hathaway – Poulin was one of my favorite players growing up. So tenacious on the puck and he was a great, gritty 2-way player. Shout-out to Rick Tocchet who was the runner-up for my former Flyer pick. Hathaway fits into the Kadri, Tkachuk, Bennett bucket – hate him on the other team, love him on your team.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Joey Mullens and Sidney Crosby – Mullens was one of those guys that I always rooted for. He joined us on the podcast before I was co-hosting and you should give it a listen. Such a cool guy with a great story. And Sid the Kid? One of the best of all-time who plays like he’s a bottom 6 grinder in jeopardy of getting kicked to the A. Love his mentality and drive.
San Jose Sharks: Joe Thornton and Barclay Goodrow – Jumbo is an all-timer and I love Goodrow now that he’s no longer on TBL. Maybe this honor will finally get Jumbo to go “full rooster”?
Seattle Kraken: Morgan Geekie* and Matty Beniers – as this team has only been around for 2 seasons, I bent my own rules about not having a current player representing another team, but outside of his own family; I don’t know if anyone else has a Geekie Bruins sweater. And Matty Ice is a Mass-hole living out on the West Coast so gotta have him on the list.
St. Louis Blues: Adam Oates and Nick Leddy – Fun fact: Oates and I share the same first name and birthday. Cool huh? He didn’t think so when I met him. And I contemplated saying Binnington’s jersey just to use as toilet paper, but that kind of goes for the whole STL roster.
Tampa Bay Lightning: Ryan Callahan and Ryan McDonagh – weird, out of a handful of Lightning players that I can even stomach thinking of, the 2 that make this list are named Ryan. Wait! Honorable mention Bugsy Malone’s first name is Ryan also? What the hell?
Toronto Maple Leafs: Wendel Clark and Connor Dewar – How terrified would the entire current Leaf’s roster be of prime Wendel Clark? Matthews and Marner would pee down their legs if Wendel even gave them a dirty look in the locker room. Dewar is a solid player on a team full of soft as puppy shit wanna be boy band members. Yup I said it.
Utah Hockey Club (Arizona Coyotes): Phil Kessel and Tij Iginla – the Iginla’s make the list as the first father-son duo. Just another accolade for that family. Phil the Thrill played for a lot of teams, but I’ll always think of him in that Kachina sweater (and at the All-Star game waiting to be picked, but at least he won a car)
Vancouver Canucks: Trevor Linden and Conor Garland – Linden was one of those underrated players until he retired and then everyone was like “Oh shit he was good”. As for Garland, I just like the way he plays. Bonus: he’s another Mass-hole out on the West Coast.
Vegas Golden Knights: Derek Engelland and Shea Theodore – Engelland came to VGK at the end of his career and captivated the city, especially in the wake of the tragic concert shooting. He embodied everything that was good about the team and after the shooting, he spoke from the heart about the city and the people. Theodore has been there since the beginning (solid move by the ANA GM leaving him unprotected for the expansion draft), and is a joy to watch play and skate. Pietrangelo was another possibility as was Eichel, but I’m a Theodore guy.
Washington Capitals: Al Iafrate and TJ Oshie – Oh, you don’t remember Al “The Planet” Iafrate? An absolute legend of the game with a cannon. Oshie has grown from being a “shootout specialist” to one of the better all-around players in the game. One of the best reverse hitters in the NHL.
Winnipeg Jets: Dustin Byguflien and Connor Hellebuyck – who else but Big Buff on this list? One of the all-time great personalities and forces of nature to ever put on a NHL sweater. And the other guy’s a pretty good goalie.
Bonus:
Northeastern Huskies Women’s Hockey: Alina Müeller and Lily Brazis – I will say, outside of the Bruins picks, that this was one of the toughest decisions on the whole list. But if you have the chance to have The GOAT and The Nailgun on the same list, you have to take that chance. Both have been on the podcast, (not a big deal).
Well, there you have it. Not everyone’s going to have the same list and that’s what makes these types of conversations so much fun. Good luck on your road trip, enjoy your time in the parking lot and we’ll see you at the rink in less than 2 months!
You can read more about Brownie in his bio down below or follow him on:
Twitter: @abrow28
IG/Threads: @a_brow28
The Morning Skate 