Seattle Expansion Team Will NOT be the Sockeyes

It has been reported that the group behind the renovation of KeyArena in Seattle has registered more than three dozen domain names related to names to possibly be used by an expansion franchise. A couple possible team names stuck out.

Seattle Evergreens

Ok, so maybe an Evergreen tree isn’t the most intimidating mascot, but being that the team is located in Seattle, it’s a damn good choice, and not just because the Evergreen is symbolic of the ares. I mean if they make their logo a tree…Seattle…Trees… I guarantee guys are going to be pumped to be playing in Seattle, and I’m sure the Evergreen merch is going to be flying off the shelves. Not to mention they’ll definitely have the support of some high profile celebrities like Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, Tommy Chong…actually just everyone. I mean look at these majestic Seattle Evergreens.


Seattle Kraken

The Kraken might be the most badass team name on the list, and it makes sense that they picked so many marine animals as they fit the nautical theme of the region. Being that the Kraken is a mythical creature that just absolutely bundles boats and shit, basically king of the ocean, no duh they would propose it as a mascot.

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Seattle Seals/ Seattle Whales

I get that there is some contention in the possible use of Seals or Whales as a team name, being that it seems to be too close to now defunct NHL teams (California Golden Seals and Hartford Whalers respectively), but I was only 3 when the Whalers got sent to Carolina, and only know of the Golden Seals because of the fresh ass white skates they wore. I’m a big fan of these choices, simply for the nostalgia factor.

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Seattle Sockeyes

One final Marine animal, complete with that alliteration sports teams like so much. It sounds cool, but there’s one problem… A novelist has filed for the trademark to the Seattle Sockeyes…Because she writes “Romance Novels” (old lady porno books) that focus around a hockey team with the name. Once I found this out, I had to find these books. And oh my goodness are you in for a treat. This excerpt is from her novel “Bodychecking: Seattle Sockeyes Hockey”


Absolutely ZERO hockey…but lots and lots of fuggin. So no…the Seattle expansion team can not be the Sockeyes… No sir…


One thought

  1. Should be called the Metros or something, that way it’s directly to the to the Seattle Metropolitans the first US team to win the Stanley Cup back when NHL played against the WHL for the Stanley Cup


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