On last weeks podcast, Cooner and I talked about how myself and a few of the boys were playing in the Saratoga Frozen Classic this coming weekend. Clearly, the boys will be boozing and having a grand ol’ time but I wanted to take the time and feature some items that aren’t talked about enough or, the unsung heroes of pond hockey tournaments. If you’re a rookie to these type of tournaments, make sure you take notes here– I’m talking pen and paper. Having these three things will not only turn you into a pond hockey savage, but will also ensure a bitchin’ ass time.
Heavy Duty Lawn Chair
Tournaments can take a toll on the body. Think about it, you’re going to be spending countless hours on your feet, wheeling around and walking to and from beer tents. It can be EXHAUSTING. Most will just find a bench or a snowbank but I think people need to have more respect for themselves. Who wants to be sitting on some peasant bench or getting their ass wet from a snowbank? No thanks, I’m full. Your own personal, heavy duty lawn chair is an A+ have in tournament play. Yeah, you can go to DICKS and buy a $10 lawn chair but will it have beer holders? Will it have a bag to put it, along with 6-8 beers, in? Oh, how about pockets to put your miscellaneous items in? Foot rest? Hopefully a strong gust of wind doesn’t blow you and your chair away. Having your own chair with tournament style features is a must have for any sort of round robin play.
I may catch a lot of heat for this one. I can hear it now, “Why the fuck do you need eye black??!”. Answer is simple, I want to look sweet. I’ll never make the NHL or play in some sort of real outdoor game, so if I ever get any opportunity to look sweet playing outside in front of friends and family then I’m going to take it. This is also called mental warfare. Imagine being 45 years old, showing up to a tournament where you think you and your life long friends are going to have good family fun only to find out that you have to play against an entire team who has war paint on their faces. Here you are thinking you were going to have a fun time with the boys for a weekend while you didn’t realize you were about to embark in a war that you want no part of. I play to win and if I can look sweet while gaining any sort of advantage then sign me up.
This is key. I don’t care if you call me soft, hand and feet warmers save lives. If you’ve played in a tournament before, you know how cold it can get and how brutal it is to not be able to have feeling in your extremities. I chalk this one up to preparation. If you show up with these then that means you woke up 10 minutes early and drove to Stewarts for a black coffee and some warmers before going to the rink. While everyone else is freezing their bag off, you’re feeling all cozy and warm like everything is right in the world. Plus, you don’t want to end up looking like this guy.
Did I miss any must have items? Let us know! Tweet at us, @morning_skate and let Ked know if he nailed this or if he’s an idiot.