Jumbo Joe Just Shaved His Beard And The NHL Might be in Big Big Trouble


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The San Jose Sharks made another run last year and just fell short. Where have we heard this before?




Okay, I kid, I kid (sorta). Anyways, the Sharks will be back this year with a plethora of talent. Evander Kane will look to continue his last seasons Shark performance, Tomas Hertl is looking to end more goalie careers (Shout out to Marty Biron) and Logan Couture will remain a top player in the league. In addition to all of those names, the Sharks added defenseman Erik Karlsson, ever heard of him? He’s supposed to be pretty decent, as the Sharks could potentially have one of Karlsson, Burns, and Vlasic on the ice throughout the course of an entire game. Think about that. For 60 minutes, 1 of those 3 could be on the ice.

And now, lets add in the X-factor Joe fucking Thornton.


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Let’s check out the stats through the last few years.


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For being 39 years old, Thornton is still an automatic playmaker. He has a reputation of being a goofball, and is for sure a locker room guy. Remember when he talked about his Johnson?

So why should you be worried? Well, Joe Thornton isn’t fucking around any more. It’s kind of like his mom told him to grow up and become a professional. A bitchin’ beard is awesome to rock but being clean shaven depicts discipline, focus, and determination. Also, opposing players have one less thing to grab on to.


Good luck any team not named the Sharks, you’re going to need it.

Author: Ked

1st line thoughts with a 4th line heart. Hope you guys enjoy the site and let us know what we can do to make it better. ALWAYS remember-- When in doubt, glass and out.

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