The Red Wings Are so Bad That Arby’s Has Taken Notice

Arby’s Lowers the Threshold for Free Fries

The fast food bad boys, meat slinging ‘powerhouse’ Arby’s obviously has a tough time getting people to go through a drive through to get a roast beef sandwich, because no duh its a roast beef sandwich. Between their hardcore media push to let you know that they in fact do “have the meats”, and their venturing to other types of cuisine, like gyros (pronounce YEE-ros for you uncultured pigs), it’s pretty clear that they’re hurting to get people into their restaurants.

Nothing is more indicative of this than the fact that they have changed their promo deal with the Detroit Red Wings, from free curly fries for a hat trick, to free curly fries for THREE GOALS in a single game.

Image result for mighty morphin power rangers megazord

Actually, let’s forget I said that. This just goes to show how absolutely abysmal the Red Wings are this year. This is like a Power Rangers Megazord of poor businesses.

A franchise as storied as the Red Wings should not have to stoop so low as to rely on fucking Arby’s curly fries, not even sandwiches, no matter how bad they are right now, and they are bad. They’re 1-6-2 with a  -19 goal differential. Dead last in the league.They’re so bad that they’re getting pity fries. What a shame.

Maybe next year once they have Yzerman as their GM and they get the #1 overall pick, they’ll be good enough to have someone that’s able to score a hat trick and get them back to their former hat trick for fries glory. I’m gonna go get a Beef and Cheddar and a large order of curly fries in solidarity.





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