Bruins Play Like Buttcheeks. Get Pumped by Bolts 7-1

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Here are my 5 knee-jerk takeaways from tonights thumping of the B’s.

Goaltending. This somehow won’t shut up the Tuukka sucks crowd. They’ve made the brave pivot to he quit on the team, which really shows the sticktoitveness the Bruins lineup is missing. Fact is, the Bruins would not have been the same powerhouse for the last 8 years or so without him. Tim Thomas in 2011 was a magical ride that you cannot hold against Tuukka forever. If anything, Tuukka is simply following in Thomas’s foot steps and going off the grid. Halak has not been great. Going from the backup with easy matchups, to back to back nights against the Bolts in the playoffs is quite the jump. At least we know he can get hot. (Please get hot)

Maybe Bruce Cassidy should try the old Berube/ Cooper special and cry about the refs to the media and watch the NHL crumble to its knees in submission. This gets 10 minutes in the National Hockey League? Grow up NHL.  Eddie O acted like he witnessed Bertuzzi 2.0.

Speaking of Bruce, I hated the lineup changes. Kuraly being unfit to play was a huge loss as he is a catalyst for the bottom six with his speed and work ethic. But I did not like Cassidy responding with 7 d, Par Lindholm, Nick Ritchie and John Moore. Par is the Switzerland of 4th liners. Nothing really positive, but no real negatives. Just there. Doesn’t fuck up. But the Bruins need more. Give Studnicka a chance in the second round. The results weren’t there in the first round but he showed creativity, the ability to gain the zone with possession, and he’s a great penalty killer. What about Karson Kuhlman? He showed last year his play elevates in the playoffs and he brings the speed the Bruins desperately need in this matchup. Wheres Trent Frederic? Let him bang bodies and face wash Blake Coleman in scrums. Acciari was a huge part of the bruins 4th line last year and a little more snarl in the lineup wouldn’t hurt.

Even though I thought that was the whole point of Nick Ritchie! Need more than a slash to the shins of Fatty Patty for Ritchie to justify his presence in the lineup. He looks how I feel in beer league. Out of breath, confused, and lethargic.  Mix in some starts and stops. I felt the bad juju as soon as I realized the Bruins traded for the little brother of a guy they just sent to the minors a few months prior. Sorry, Brett. Little brothers sound like the fucking worst. With all of that said, I have hopes that the guy we saw glimmers of in his short regular season stint shows up. I think if he wakes up he could serve a purpose in the lineup, even if its on the 4th line.

Tough look for Cirelli here. I get it, he’s a skill player and important to the team. But he looks like a chump. Its hard to run your mouth on the ice when the other teams knows you stopped by the Elmers glue factory prior to the bubble so that you could ensure your Warrior Covert QRL’s stay on tight in all situations.

Zero stats were referenced in this post.
PS.. I am a big Brian Boucher fan. I thought his comments before the third basically saying the bruins hung out a rookie in his first nhl appearance out to dry on odd man rushes was spot on.  Shoutout Mount Saint Charles hockey. 

 

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