Ryan Whitney Promises to Work at Borrelli’s

The Spittin’ Chiclets boys are pretty bad at predicting playoff results. Earlier this postseason, Biz (Paul Bissonnette) verbally doomed his foreskin to an untimely demised after he swore he’d circumcise himself if the Leafs made another first round exit.

Biz has (understandably) welched on cutting part of his dick off. But now co-host Ryan Whitney is writing a check he has no excuse not to cash.

Famous for his hatred of the Islanders, Whit doubled down on his prediction that the Islanders will not win the Cup. Whit promised to work as a waiter at Borrelli’s for two days if the Islanders pull it off and win.

(CONTEXT: Frankie Borrelli is a diehard Islanders fan whose family own’s the Long Island restaurant Borrelli’s. Ryan Whitney hates the Islanders. Both guys work at Barstool Sports.)

Who wouldn’t want to see Whit dabbing sauce from the corner Frankie Borrelli’s mouth? What better than seeing Whit pour shot after shot for Islanders fan basking in their glory? Can Whit remember the linguine with clam sauce? The WHITE clam sauce, not the RED sauce you MARON!

If this doesn’t motivate the boys towards the promised land, I don’t know what will.

Author: Puckraker

Puckraker grew up skating and retired after a Tier III NYS tournament appearance with the Great Neck Bruins. These days, Puckraker is a lawyer living the dream from New Orleans, where there are no hockey rinks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s