A while back I wrote a blog about how a refs hand got crushed in a penalty box door. To most, I think that would seem savage but to be honest it’s not the only fucked up thing I’ve seen playing in beer leagues. Not to go on a “Ked is Mr. Beer League” rant but guess what, Ked is Mr. Beer League. If you come to the capital region and you’re looking to find ice anywhere, I’m your guy. From Glens Falls, to Schenectady, to Clifton Park (reinstated skating there a couple years ago) and Albany, if there is ice I will find it. Having said that, I want to tell you about another beer league memory that I will never forget.
If you’re from this area and hear the term ‘Frear Park’ you know you’re going to freeze your ball bag off. It’s so cold that on some nights when you get back to the bench the water on your visor freezes and you literally have to chip ice off to see. Anyways, this particular game featured our areas heavyweight shit starters. I think you know the kind of guy I’m talking about. The kind where when you get to the rink and see you’re playing them you immediately plan a perimeter type game, stay to the outside, keep your mouth shut and go about your business, but I digress. One of the players spent their career getting kicked out of leagues and the other spent time pounding keystone lights at open adult hockey. Everything seemed to be going perfect, a little too perfect, up until 3 minutes left to go in the game, classic. Both savages are on the ice and all hell breaks loose. I honestly forget why it started but it was a lot shorter than what everyone thought it would be. What was thought would be a legendary bout was actually a pushing and shoving match.. that is until player A goes Jose Bautista on Player Bs knees.
I’m talking the type of two hander that would put a ball over the green monster. Clearly everyone looked around not knowing what to do, but again things began to settle until A and B made it to the penalty box. Im not entirely sure what B said to A but instead of chopping Bs knees, A went two handed over the top down on this guys head. You remember back in the day when your grandpa taught you how to split wood? That, but on someones head with a hockey stick.
The type of shit where if it were recorded someone would be screaming ‘WORLD STAR’ and the police would be there in 5 minutes. As soon as the stick hit the top of the helmet, benches cleared and we had ourselves a donnybrook. Being an egotistical guy like myself, I clearly found the most talented soft guy on the other team and pretended to look mad knowing shit wouldn’t actually happen. As I’m writing this I am very aware this story on paper does not do it justice. I would give my left nut to have had all of this on camera, it was THAT MUCH of a shit show. I think A ended up getting suspended from the league, his third league in 2 years, and I will always have a memory of a Youngblood type brawl.
Having said all of this, and sharing my 2 favorite tales of beer league thus far, I’d like to hear some of your guys’ crazy stories. Let us know in the comments!