If you tell me that you’ve played in some sort of beer league, I think its safe to assume that you have seen some shit. Beer league hockey is about as reckless and lawless as NHL Hits 2003. With that said, I HAVE to share this with our followers.
So to set things up, you guys need to know a few names. We’re going to call the ref Ben. Ben has been the ref in the league we’ve played in for years. He’s gone through some ups and downs but at the end of the day I have this guy in my back pocket. It all comes down to giving him respect when hes reffing in a degenerate league as the only ref. Does he fuck up a lot? Yeah, absolutely. But the guy shows up every week to ref us and take an obscene amount of abuse from players on both teams including me.
Each beer league team has a goon. We’ll call ours Jim. Jim likes heavy metal, yelling at refs and clearing bodies in front of the crease. The most skilled guy? Nope. Intense? Yes. Heart? Yes. Comedy? Yes. Needless to say he doesn’t have the best relationship with Ben but oh well its beer league. Actually, not oh well, because with 3 minutes left to go in a playoff game last night shit hit the fan.
This altercation between Ben and Jim started over an icing call in a 7-5 playoff game with 3 minutes left. We were up but Jim decided to start yelling at Ben for an icing call. Why? No one knows, but I respect it. The one thing about working beer league refs is the process of building them up breaking them down. Rinse and repeat. Although we were up 2 so I don’t know why breaking Ben down would be the right thing to do at that moment but I digress.
So as this altercation is going down, I take a knee in front of our net because I’m tired. I’m a captain logging about 25 minutes of ice in a playoff game. No big deal. Not all heroes wear capes. So I’m in the middle of motivating my goalie (Telling him if we lose this game he’s cut immediately after the game) and all of a sudden I hear fire works. Ben the ref has Jim the goon pinned in the penalty box with Jims helmet in his hand hitting him repeatedly. I’m talking absolute haymakers. First reaction? A smirk. Like oh shit, Ben has finally went off the deep end. There’s absolutely no coming back from this. Second reaction? Come on Ben, this is a little over dramatic- over react much? Like chill out man, Jim doesn’t need to be buckled in the box, am I right? Third reaction? We better finish this game. I’m a gamer, a warrior and I want to go to the finals.
So while all of us are on the ice staring at each other so perplexed like any sort of physics SAT question, Ben emerges from the box screaming. And I mean SCREAMING. 4 strides on to the ice we hear, “THIS MOTHER FUCKER BROKE MY FINGER” and shows us his hand with one of his fingers dangling from his hand.
These pictures were taken after the game, after one of our team doctors (rail road conductor) told Ben to try and snap it back in to place. Now guys, I may be one of the best beer league players of all time but my kryptonite is any sort of blood/injury. Almost passed out on the spot.
So what happened? During the altercation Jim slammed the penalty box door shut with Bens hand in the way. Boom goes the dynamite. Now, yes, this is bad but I don’t think it was on purpose (if that makes any sense). It’s kind of a wrong hand place wrong time sort of situation. So who is in the wrong here? Jim for arguing an icing call with 3 minutes left, up 2 and slamming the door shut? Or Ben who probably should’ve had his head on a swivel when he locked a monster in a cage (or a penalty box for that matter)?
After the game, this battle was brought to the streets of Facebook. Lots of people aren’t thrilled with Jim, but because I’m his captain I have to stick up for him. So Jim, if you read this I am on your side. (Ben if you read this I am on your side)- Middle man ked. Playing the system.
I would like to hear all of your thoughts on this matter. We’re going to try and get these guys on the podcast this week to air it out or maybe schedule a PPV tables ladders and chairs match. OH! Also! Ben finished reffing the game. Why? Because hes an adult league hockey ref, that’s why. Take notes Blake Griffin.
If any of you guys have stories like this be sure to share them with us. We love LOVE hearing beer league antics and we will give our analysis about a bunch of middle aged men battling for glory while at the same time have to wake up and go to work at 6 am to some job that none of us want to go to.
I’m on twitter @Jimmy_Collins_