It is January and it is cold as tits outside. Ponds and lakes across the globe are freezing and hockey players are chomping at the bit to get out there and spin. However, if you’re new to the pond hockey landscape, there are certain things you need to bring with you to ensure a kick ass time.
No one, and I mean NO ONE wants to sit there ass down in a snow bank to tie their skates. I would show up to your skate, about 20 minutes before hand and set up shop. You want to have a solid fort for when you get tired and it begins with the lawn chair. Now, any lawn chair will do, but I would suggest getting one with beer holders. That way, you can put a beer in one and your keys, phone, etc. in the other. Like I said, its about establishing a home base and a lawn chair can help you do that without getting a wet ass.
The unsung hero of pond hockey, the hand and feet warmers have become an automatic stop on the way to the pond. We have Stewarts, you all have your own convenient stores where you can stop and get these. Some people might call you soft for using them but I’d rather be soft and warm then a pretend alpha freezing my ass off. Slip these into your gloves and skates and you’ll be much more relaxed, trust me.
Everybody has a friend who can really rock an AUX cord, shoutout DJ Zoomie, and it is no different on the pond. Some people like the more majestic approach, but I think music is always welcomed. Pop on modern hits, some country whatever you want. My choice? I’d want a Classic Rock playlist. Nothing reminds me more of youth hockey than AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd and some Foghat. A great day just got even better.
Pucks (around 10, if you have them)
This is an important one. If you’re going to play for the first time it’s only logical that you’d think you’d need one puck. WRONG. I hate snowbanks. We’ve had an ongoing rivalry for the last 15 years and it is not ending. You’ll shoot a puck into a bank, think you know exactly where it is only to find out the entrance of the puck is actually 7 miles west and not where the puck mark is. If someone could help design a way of finding hockey pucks in snowbanks they would make MILLIONS of dollars. Also, shoutout to me for being a genius there, damn.
Not to get all worldly or tree huggy on you but lets clean up the place. Beers will be flowing, chews will be packed, cheeseburgers will be eaten and trash will inevitably be everywhere. Grab a trash bag and fill that thing up and put it in the back of who ever has a truck. Trucks are tough and are meant for hauling so its only right that the trash bags wind up there. A standard truck guy will take it as a compliment.
If you bring all 5 of these items with you to a pond hockey skate I guarantee you a good time. Remember, drink responsibly and for the love of god keep all pucks below the knees.